he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
