dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
