weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
