I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Houston, we have a squirter
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The uberlube is also flammable
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
