I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
