how can u be prego again
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
