why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
