so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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