No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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