i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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