Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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