Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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