Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
