I am in a vortex of obligation.
He kissed a someone with a penis
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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