last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
