he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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