Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
