your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
