I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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