You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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