Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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