I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
