guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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