He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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