it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
the night ended with taco bell and tears
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
