its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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