allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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