I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
