that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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