He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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