Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
