Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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