is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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