so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
