i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
