it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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