She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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