Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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