I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
