She is in my trunk
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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