Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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