I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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