Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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