my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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