I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
