It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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