Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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