def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
