I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
