that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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