My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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