It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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