I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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