Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
